A funeral is not a service or single event. It is a series of events that take place over a period of time following a death. 

Archeologists have found evidence that mankind has faced death with events, rituals, and customs for over 60,000 years. In fact, across time and culture one constant is the basic human need to mourn the loss of someone close to us or a member of our community.

The specific events, rituals, and customs may vary across time and culture, but the basic components are very similar. To talk about the components, similarities, or differences encompass entire college courses of study. No matter the specifics, there are basically two things that mankind has tried to address by the development of custom and ritual. 

The first is to gather the people you care about at the time of a death. It is by supporting each other, grieving together, and sharing memories that we begin to adjust to a loss and begin the mourning process.

The second thing that mankind attempts with the funeral is to keep the person who has died close to us.  If you examine rites, rituals, visitations, vigils, cemeteries, the pyramids, and many other things, they exist to keep those who have died close to us. In Victorian times there were lockets designed to carry a lock of hair of departed relatives. There are many examples of our attempt to keep a person physically near or spiritually present.

Funeral rites, funeral ceremonies, memorial services, celebration of life services are all examples of parts of a funeral, but not the entire funeral.

Each of the three services listed, Funeral Service, Memorial Service, and Celebration of Life are terms used to describe an organized event, service, or ritual. There is no definition for what comprises the three or their content.

It is generally accepted or understood that a Funeral Service is a traditional form of service with the body present, most often religious, with a pattern of prayer, scripture or readings, music, and is held in a traditional setting like a church or funeral home.

A Memorial Service has been thought of as similar to a Funeral Service but without the body present.  Either because the body has already been cremated or burial has occurred.

A Celebration of Life service is a newer descriptor without a common understanding of what it means. It can mean a service held on a setting different than the traditional church or funeral home setting. It can mean that the content is different than the traditional content with sharing, video, or music. It can mean that the person that leads does not serve the traditional role.  It usually means that the body can be present, but it may not be.

Locke Funeral Services provides professional funeral services, advanced planning and grief support for families and loved ones following a death. Our professional staff is available to offer their support, guidance, expertise, help, and understanding. We know how overwhelming funeral planning can be, especially when your experiencing feelings shock and fear. As upsetting as this all is, we will be there with you, listen to you, and respect your wishes.

Our purpose is to fairly, honestly, and compassionately offer our expertise and guidance before, at the time of, and after your loss.  We do this by listening to you, discussing options, and paying attention to detail.

We do this by our actions. We will always do the right thing, act with integrity, treat all others with respect, and interact with an open mind. We do this by our care for your loved one and a personal and professional manner.

When someone close to us dies, whether suddenly or after a long struggle, it is natural to feel shock, grief, fear, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Fortunately, there are people who can help you through the process, answer questions, and give you guidance. 

Regardless of where a death may occur there are people available to help you take the first steps. If suddenly at home, call 911 and first responders like ambulance and police will respond immediately. In a hospital setting, there are medical and social staff that can answer questions and help you take the first steps. In care facilities or hospice settings, there are caring people that will be with you.

Locke Funeral Services is available 24/7 to answer questions, to help you understand what questions you should ask, and to offer options and incites on your path forward.

On your path through loss, rely on your family, friends, church, community, and trusted advisors not to steer you, but to walk with you and offer support and guidance.

An arrangement conference with a funeral director could take two to three hours and covers a lot of material. It is your chance to get answers to questions, explore options, and discuss costs. The time spent should result in your having a good feeling that you have been heard, your wishes will be followed, and you have help available.

The first step in the meeting should be to answer questions you may have and address concerns that may be troubling you.

We will help you understand what biographical information is required and for what purpose. This information may be used for:

• Death certificates
• Social Security notification
• Newspaper notifications
• Obituaries on a website
• Planning elements for the funeral

We will help you understand and plan for the events you may choose for your family or the public.  We can help you with planning and arrangements for visitations, services, meals, care of the deceased, and more.

We will help you understand costs that are associated with our help with the services you may select.  We can show you costs associated with things you may wish to purchase like a casket, burial vault, printed material, and keepsakes that may be options for you to consider. We will discuss with you other expenses outside of the funeral home for things like newspaper notices, cemetery expenses, flowers, and honorariums that may apply. We publish the costs for our services and merchandise on our website and they are available at our locations.

Not all details may be finalized after this first meeting. You may have decisions to make or others to talk to. We hope however that after this meeting you know that we have been honest with you, you feel we have been compassionate, and that you think that it has not been as difficult as you had anticipated.

Your advance funeral planning process can occur in as few as 3 stages – gathering information, choosing your services, and funding your funeral.

During the information gathering stage, your funeral director will provide you with all the necessary information about the services available to you. We’re here to answer your questions and provide guidance using our experience in helping families deal with some of their most difficult times.

Next, you’ll choose what services you want for your funeral. These can include everything from the specifics of your funeral service, to choosing the casket or urn you want for your internment, to arranging details for final burial. Finally, you’ll be asked to provide payment for your services in advance. By choosing to pay for your funeral expenses ahead of time, you lock in your pricing and can relieve your family of a potential financial burden during an already difficult time.

In addition to offering you peace of mind as you create a plan for your funeral services, there are many other benefits available when you plan your funeral services in advance. Among these benefits are:

• Covering expenses up front: Advanced planning allows you to pre-fund your funeral. This means you’re locking in the cost of your funeral up front, rather than leaving a potential financial burden for your family.
• Protect against rising costs: One of the other benefits to pre-paying for your funeral is you are able to guard against rising inflation costs. It also protects your family from potentially over-spending on something during a very emotional time.
• Qualify for Medicaid coverage: Applicants for Medicaid may find value in using funeral planning as a way to spend down their assets. If you choose to place your funeral funds in an irrevocable contract, they are considered exempt assets for Medicaid qualification purposes. This allows you to benefit from Medicaid while ensuring your assets are still spent according to your wishes and relieving stress for your family.

The staff at Locke Funeral Services is ready to answer any questions you have about the benefits of advance funeral planning.

Our goal is to makes sure your funeral plans are carried out to your expressed wishes. If you already have gone through the advance funeral planning process with Locke Funeral Services, please contact us to schedule a meeting to go over any changes you would like to make.

Yes. When you make your funeral plans, we won’t discuss them with anyone unless you’ve given us permission. We will ask you to appoint an “agent of disposition” when completing your planning. This person will be responsible for making sure all the details you’ve decided on are carried out according to your wishes.

Viewings and visitations both offer loved ones to pay respect to the deceased. A viewing usually takes place right before the burial and serves as an opportunity to serve the deceased one final time. A visitation is often held before the funeral as a way to both honor the deceased and greet and comfort the family.

Eulogies and obituaries are both important parts of the funeral process. In simplest terms, here are the differences between the two:

• An obituary is a written notice of a death that provides necessary details about the individual’s life and funeral arrangements, including time and date of services. They can be placed in local newspapers, appear online, and be printed for the service itself.
• A eulogy is usually a speech that is given to honor the deceased. Eulogists are often chosen as part of advance funeral planning. The eulogy is meant to honor the deceased and can include everything from a funny anecdote to a heartfelt story.

Anticipatory grief is the feeling of grief you endure before an anticipated loss. This can happen whether you’re preparing for your own death or the anticipated loss of a loved one. These feelings can include physical symptoms like lack of sleep, stomach pain, crying, and much more. Anticipatory grief can also cause emotional distress and depression.

Think of mouring as the acts that we do surrounding a death or loss. The wake, visitation, funeral service and burial are all part of the mourning process. Grief, on the other hand, is an ongoing feeling and emotion we feel because of a loss. Grief affects everyone differently and has no set timeline.

While there are many feelings associated with grief, they can generally be grouped as:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

Each individual will go through the five stages of grief in their own time. How you process grief is entirely up to you. You should never feel rushed to go through these five stages.

Putting a timeline on grief is impossible. In fact, minimizing your grief to a particular timeline can have negative emotional consequences. If you feel like you’re moving through your grief too slowly, you’re likely to grow frustrated and angry. Do not rush your grief, because it will come and go like waves. Even in acceptance, we don’t truly get over the loss of a loved one, we just learn to live with that loss as part of our everyday life.

Grief support groups can provide valuable assistance as you work through your grief. Knowing that you are feeling the same things and going through the same trials as others can help you feel less alone in your grief. At Locke Funeral Services, our grief support group is focused on providing you with a safe space to understand your feelings of loss.

Some common symptoms of grief include sadness, guilt, anger, shock, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and changes in appetite. It is normal to experience a wide range of emotions during the grieving process.

It is not uncommon to experience feelings of guilt or regret after a loss. These feelings may be related to things you wish you had done differently or times when you were not able to be there for your loved one. It is important to remember that these feelings are normal and to be kind and gentle with yourself during this time.

It is possible to heal and move forward after a loss, although the grieving process may be ongoing. With time and support, many people are able to find a sense of peace and acceptance after a loss, even as they continue to carry the memory of their loved one with them.

Yes, grief can have physical effects on the body, including fatigue, headaches, and changes in appetite or sleep patterns. It is important to take care of your physical health during this time by eating well, getting enough rest, and engaging in physical activity.

Taking care of yourself is an important part of the grieving process. This can include getting enough rest, eating well, engaging in physical activity, and practicing self-care activities like meditation or journaling. It is also important to seek support from friends, family, or a professional if needed.

The most important thing you can do to support someone who is grieving is to listen and be present. Offer your support and comfort, but also respect their need for space and privacy. You can also help with practical tasks like cooking, cleaning, or running errands.