As parents, we want to protect our children from all of the bad in the world. But sometimes, there are things outside of our control. When your child loses someone they love, it can be heartbreaking to watch them deal with their emotions. November 17th is Children’s Grief Awareness Day and Locke Funeral Services wants to offer you the support you may need when dealing with this difficult topic with your child.
Statistics show that one in twenty children will lose a parent before they even finish high school – And this doesn’t account for the loss of other family members or friends. With a number like that, it is important that parents and caretakers are familiar with the feelings and stages of grief that a child may go through. Any child who is old enough to love is also old enough to grieve the loss of that love.
Children who have experienced loss can often feel alone in their feelings. That their struggles and fears are invisible to those around them. As adults who love and care about them, our job is to be their advocate so that they know that they are surrounded by love and understanding on their grieving journey.
Depending on the age of the child, their grief may manifest in different ways. For the younger ones, tantrums, bed-wetting, and regression in behaviors such as wanting to use a pacifier again, are all coping mechanisms they may use to deal with their pain. For older children, behavior issues, faking illness to avoid activities and loss of desire to do the things they love are all signs of inner turmoil. Recognizing these behaviors and addressing them without shame or judgment is one way to connect with your grieving child.
Another easy way to connect with your child is simply to acknowledge the feelings they are having. Feelings like sadness, anger, being scared and hopelessness are all common and perfectly normal responses to loss. Letting your child know that you hear them, you understand them and that what they’re going through is expected and normal can be reassuring and comforting in a time where there is so much unknown.
It is important to note that grief is not finite. Your child may process grief one way as a child, and a different way as a teenager. Re-grieving isn’t uncommon as the child becomes more aware of death, finality and what that means for their life. Throughout their loss experience, simply being there and listening to how they feel can be one of the most important parts of their healing.
Loss at any age is difficult but it can be even harder when you’re young and unsure how to process your feelings. This Children’s Grief Awareness Day, Locke Funeral Services hopes to give you the tools and resources you may need to approach this delicate subject. If you’re still unsure of how to speak with your child about a recent loss, allow our compassionate team to help or utilize some of the resources listed below. Call 319-233-6138 or click here for more assistance.
